There are four stages in life: 1) You believe in Santa Claus. 2) You don’t believe in Santa Claus. 3) You are Santa Claus. 4) You look like Santa Claus.

may not be the real Santa, but that doesn’t mean I haven’t seen you while you’re sleeping

can’t wait to watch her favourite Christmas movie, “The Christmas That Almost Wasn’t Due To Santa’s Urinary Tract Infection”

is eating his weight in figgy pudding

What happened when the snowman annoyed the snow-woman? She gave him the cold shoulder.

Why is Christmas just like another day at the office? You end up doing all the work and the fat guy in the suit gets all the credit.

Anyone who believes that men are the equal of women has never seen a man trying to wrap a Christmas present.

Christmas is just plain weird. What other time of the year do you sit in front of a dead tree in your living room eating candy and snacks out of your socks

How do you know Santa has to be a man? No woman would wear the same outfit year after year.

What do elves learn in school? The Elf-abet!

Why does Santa Claus go down the chimney on Christmas Eve? Because it soots him.

Why does Santa have 3 gardens? So he can ho-ho-ho.

What do snowmen eat for breakfast? Snowflakes.

What did Adam say on the day before Christmas? Its’ Christmas, Eve.

What did Tarzan sing at Christmas time? Jungle Bells

What’s red and white and red, red and white, and red and white?¬†Santa Claus rolling down a hill!

Christmas is cancelled. I told Santa I’ve been good this year. He died laughing.

I’m not Santa. But you can still sit on my lap ;)

I’m the reason Santa¬†even has a naughty list ;)

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