Have you seen or thought of a really funny or really clever facebook status update that you want to share with everyone?

Use the form below to add your status idea to this page!

Comments 335

  1. ♫║╔═╦╦╦═╗
    ║╚╣║║║║╩╣ __not war
    ╚═╩═╩═╩═♥
    condoms are cheaper than guns :)

  2. LMS:If Your Mexican
    Comment:If Your Proud To Be One
    Repost:If You Love Being One ;D

  3. Everyone keeps telling me that the right guy will come round, but I think mine got hit by a bus.

  4. Roses are red
    Facebook is blue
    No mutal friends
    WHO THE F*CK ARE YOU???
    SERIOUSLY

  5. Item 1 :Life is hard for me
    Item 2 :same
    Item 3 :Time flies for me
    Item 2 :Same
    Item 4 :Life is cold for me
    Item list
    Item 1 = Brick
    Item 3 = Clock that was covered in red bull
    Item 4 = Ice cube
    Item 2 = Brick with a hole in it for liquid that was filled with red bull and had a watch as a belt who lives in a freezer
    Items 1&3 :Lucky oh no the builders have found us
    Items 1,2&3 : Hey.. what happened to Item 4?

  6. **HUSBAND AND WIFE**
    Husband: Baby whats for dinner
    Wife drops her pants .. “Me”
    Husband: “I’m tired of fish”

    LMAOOOOOO

  7. Tell what is in your heart, for the Lord has been in there and left it for you.

  8. …..____________________ , ,__
    ……/ `—___________—-_____] – – – – – – – – ░ ▒▓▓█D
    …../_==o;;;;;;;;_______.
    …..), —.(_(__) /
    ….// (..) ), —-”
    … … … …//___//
    ..//___//
    .//___//

  9. Please don’t leave, don’t let me go, it’s not the last scene of the show.. <3 ;*

  10. Life is like a test .. do good thing and good thing will happen to you and do bad thing and bads things will happen “

  11. <3 *Just call me Beautiful(;
    Call Me Beautiful(^*^)
    Call Me Beautiful(#_^)
    Call Me B-e-a-utiful* <3

  12. Never assume that someone likes u by ur sweetness…Sometimes u r just an option whn they are free.

  13. Ignorence
    A woman goes to see a doctor. She has to wait in line to see him. Finally its her turn.
    WOMAN: Doctor, I have a problem, people ignore me.
    DOCTOR: Next!

  14. Jealous husband
    HUSBAND: My wife where are you?
    WIFE: At home love.
    HUSBAND: Are you sure?
    WIFE: Yes.
    HUSBAND: Turn on the blender.
    WIFE: (turns blender on) reeereeeereeee
    HUSBAND: Ok my love goodbye.

    Another day

    HUSBAND: My wife where are you?
    WIFE: At home love
    HUSBAND: Are you sure?
    WIFE: Yes
    HUSBAND: Turn on the blender
    WIFE: (turns blender on) reeereeeereeee
    HUSBAND: Ok my love goodbye

    The next day, the husband decides to go home without notice, and finds his son alone and he asked him son where is your mother?

    SON: I don’t know, she went out with the blender.:D :p

  15. **WARNING!!!** New privacy issue with Facebook!
    As of tomorrow, Facebook will creep into your bathroom when you’re in the shower, smack your butt, and then steal your clothes and towel. To change this option, go to Privacy Settings > Personal Settings > Bathroom Settings > Smacking and Stealing Settings, and uncheck the Shenanigans box. Facebook kept this one quiet. Copy and Paste on your status to alert the unaware!

  16. ♫║╔═╦╦╦═╗
    ║╚╣║║║║╩╣ __not war
    ╚═╩═╩═╩═♥
    condoms are cheaper than guns :) loving it

  17. :|] :|] :|] :|] :|] :|] :|] :|] :|] :|]
    :|] :|] ♥ ♥ ♥ :|] ♥ ♥ ♥ :|] :|]
    :|] ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ :|]
    :|] ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ :|]
    :|] ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ :|]
    :|] :|] ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ :|] :|]
    :|] :|] :|] ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ :|] :|] :|]
    :|] :|] :|] :|] ♥ ♥ ♥ :|] :|] :|] :|]
    :|] :|] :|] :|] :|] ♥ :|] :|] :|] :|] :|]

  18. FACEBOOK, SlutBook, meet just to FuckBook, trying to be sneaky but then get caught OutBook, ShameBook, LameBook, using a fake NameBook, corny in the streets but on here you got GameBook, JokeBook, PokeBook, everybody’s QuoteBook, in pictures you got money but in person you BrokeBook, SexBook, FlexBook, flirting with your ExBook, someone leaves a comment then you get a urgent TextBook, FightBook, LifeBook, everybody’s RightBook, someone needs to come up with a get a fucking LifeBook.

  19. Roses are red
    Violets are blue
    Faces like yo’s belong in the zoo
    Don’t get mad, I’ll be there too
    Not in a cage but laughing at u

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